II
i was turning over with the sheets, and facing the
arched back thinking of how my eyes, half-opened,
caught her arm moving from side to side, but never to
me. it’s all connected by blank words to tell empty
promises of clumsy miscommunication. so we say what we
will, to see what we may, to find a Biblical knowing
enfolded within the next few hours. it’s too bad, too
tragic… i spent myself choking on the motions
leading up to said misfortune.
One of a few photos for an assignment to shoot at night for my lighting class and for some reason last week right before it was due I decided it was awful and couldn’t post it but looking at it now I sort of like it.
Also working on a new play list..
so far I’ve got
The Cure - A Forest
New Order - Elegia (full version)
Blonde Redhead - Melody
Steve Aoki - Bloc Party
I know, I’m so far along.
I’m aware that I’ve been acting a bit peculiar and a little bit more socially inept than usual so I’m sorry if anyones had to deal with that or with me being a flake. Hopefully that will change soon.
parke harrison
hah shooting my own jewelery for still life lighting homework
In 1988 artists Marina Abramovic and Ulay worked on one final collaboration to mark the end of their 12 year relationship. They both started at opposite ends of the Great Wall of China, met in the center, and then continued walking the opposite direction.
I think this piece, along with a few others of Abramovic, will be the inspiration for my next series of photographs.
on saturday a woman came into the gallery and spoke with me about my work and how she wanted help push me in the right direction. I suppose I didn’t think about it too much because I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but as I was about to step into the subway station I received a phone call. I’ll be attending a gallery opening with her on Thursday and meeting several friends and want to begin volunteering with city arts but anyway none of this is conclusive it just feels really incredible knowing that someone wants to support me in all of this
more b-roll footage from a little bit back
though I seem to be leaning more towards feeling helpless I really have been trying to occupy my free time with little things to make me smile
and it seems as though there’s been more of a backlash than anything. I haven’t done anything with intentions of hurting anyone but it’s hard not to feel the abandonment in friendships gone awry. Opening up to anyone has never seemed to end well and I certainly have a low threshold when it comes to handling anything involving emotions and potentially emotionally draining situations.
Along with that, my body may also be admitting defeat. It feels as though it’s deteriorating. My joints an muscles are achey and the results from the biopsy show that there’s a 50% chance that in the next 20 years these cells in my body will develop into cancerous ones. I could get the procedure done to remove them but I just don’t want to think about things. I also have a fever because I think I can’t handle this stress. This is not so much a woe-is-me let me tell you about my awful life but things are really hard lately and I miss my mom and just want her here
I suppose I’m aware that everything really will be fine and alright
but it’s hard pushing through
